I know I can’t convince you, but …
In the summer of 2021 I spent the best part of two days arguing with gender critical women in a closed Facebook group. Two whole days spent rebutting their claims with statistics, links to peer-reviewed research and other (I hope) credible sources. In the end it was an entirely redundant use of my time. The women, as it turns out, were not interested in learning facts pertaining to transgender identity. They were too far down the rabbit hole of transbogeyism and the moral panic, for rational engagement on the ‘transgender issue’ as Shon Faye ironically calls it.
Of course deep down I knew that I wouldn’t change their minds. The internet is rarely, if ever, the place for that. I’ve spent enough time designing course plans for new parents to know that hitting people up with fascinating facts - in and of itself - rarely alters perception. Especially not when done via the breeding ground of hysteria that is the internet. What was I thinking? Did I honestly believe that on hearing a few salient facts, my co-workers would metaphorically rip off their pearls and exclaim ‘Trans rights are indeed human rights!’ and that would be the end of that?! Well, if I’m honest, maybe just a little bit.
No, sadly, for people to change their minds, and I mean truly alter their thinking in a deep and meaningful way, they do so by experience. That is, either the gradual eroding of an old value system by the accrual of facts, testimony and a bit of lived experience over time. Or (more rarely) a stark, lightning bolt experience that turns a value-system on its head in a single moment. Something so incredible, so huge, so momentous, that one simply can’t move forwards without acknowledging that the world has taken on an entirely different hue.
When people want to believe something truly fantastical, however patently absurd, harmful and damaging it may be, they will cling on to their irrational fantasy as if letting go would mean the end of their life. It’s a comfort thing, really. So much better to believe that Brexit will solve your money worries and bring you out of poverty, than face up to the widespread, systemic, complex (and admittedly rather boring) changes required to bring about a tangible change in circumstances.
So much easier to believe that Donald Trump, just by wishing America To Be Great Again, can actually make it so. So much easier to believe that Nigel Farage or Boris Johnson has the golden ticket to a long life, free from suffering and anxiety - even as the bodies pile up. Better to Blame The Other: the foreigners; the gender-fluid; the sex workers; the immigrants. So many more endorphins released in angry vitriol than quiet contemplation. So much more instantaneous gratification, so much more goddamn oxytocin to feel like you’re part of an exclusive club, however vile and seedy that club might be.
But it’s not just because the lie is easy. Rather because we are trained to believe it. We are bred from birth on simplistic, all-encompassing lies that masquerade as Truth and lovely Old-fashioned Values. We are nourished like fatted calves on shadowy truths that massage, stroke and salve even the most robust of thinking and conscience. It’s how white supremacy works. It’s how capitalism works. It’s how the empire works. Make them believe anything that allows the same old exploitative, extractive system to keep on churning. Make them believe anything that distracts them from the real issues at hand. Make them believe anything that makes them fight a superfluous, blancmange battle with reality and most importantly with each other. Anything except challenge the true agents of oppression: the millionaires, the billionaires, the oil giants, the arms manufacturers, and the depraved regimes.
So no, I won’t share facts that will do nothing to change your perception. I won’t plead with you to change your mind. But I will promise you this. Once you understand what it means to be transgender, you’ll understand everything about the world and how it works. I hope you’re ready for it.
